Lord of the Blades
by annoying talking animal
Summary: Tyson has inherited an evil ring from his grandpa, and therefore has to set off on a long journey across middle earth to destroy it, along with the help of Aragorn/Strider, Legsie, Gimli, Boromir, Gandalf, and of course, Max Ray and Kai. warning: comedy
1. Intro and Some Other Stuff

**I do not own Beyblade. I do not own a beyblade.**

"Hello, dear reader, and welcome to Middle Earth," said a mysterious voice. "I am the Narrator. Once upon a time, there lived a small creature called a hobbit. It was like a human only better. It was about 3 feet tall, with hairy feet and curly hair on it's head. The hobbits lived in short houses called Hobbit Holes."

"This is boring," Tyson complained loudly.

"Of course it is, it's Lord of the Rings!" The narrator shouted. "Anyway, the hobbits lived in a small place called Hobbiton."

"Go figure," joked Ray.

"Would you shut up?" the narrator complained. "As I was saying, they lived quiet lives, except for one very old hobbit named Grandpa. He was about 111 years old, and had been on many a great adventure. He was considered "a disturber of the peace"-"

"Actually, that was Gandalf," corrected Kai.

"SHUT UP! He was considered weird, at any rate. Grandpa had a kid who was somehow related to him. His name was Tyson. This is his story."

"Ooh, dramatic," Max commented.

"I CAN'T WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE!" roared the narrator.

"Okay, okay, calm down," Annoying Talking Animal said. "I'll do it."

Tyson Granger was sitting in Bag End, (Grandpa's Hobbit Hole) happily eating an apple.

"Aah, this is the life. Hobbiton is the only place where second breakfasts are considered normal."

There was a knock on the door.

"Tyson! Get the door!" Roared Grandpa.

Tyson blissfully took another bite of apple.

"Tyson, get the friggin door!" he shouted.

"You get it!" Tyson shouted back.

Grumbling, Grandpa made his way to the door and thrust it open.

"Yes, yes, happy birthday to me. I GET IT! Would you people STOP coming around to say- Oh, hello Mr. D!" he said, finally realizing who his guest was.

"MR. D!" Tyson screamed, running up to him and giving him a rather scary hug. "You came back!"

"How about very old friends?" Mr. D said, extremely confused.

"Um…" the two Grangers exchanged terrified glanced. "Are you sure you're okay?" Grandpa asked.

"Oh, yes, lovely day if I do say so myself," Mr. D said, and promptly exploded.

"Wait! Gandalf can't explode! I thought he was a main character wizard dude… thingy!" Tyson said urgently.

"Tyson," Max started. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe Mr. Dickinson isn't playing Gandalf?"

"No! What a stupid thing to think!" Tyson laughed. "Wait… maybe Mr. D isn't playing Gandalf! I'm a genius!"

Max banged his head against the wall in exasperation.

There was another knock at the door.

"The door's open, you moron!" Grandpa screamed. "Oh, hello Gandalf!"

"Wow! Is it really you? Can I have your autograph?" Tyson asked in awe.

If you've ever watched or read Lord of the Rings, you will know that Grandpa's having a party.

At Grandpa's party that night…

It was a very alarming scene. There were bladers all over the dance floor doing the chicken dance. Kai was standing against the wall and Gandalf was shooting off fireworks.

Then Grandpa stood up for a speech.

"Dudes and dudettes! Today all of my homeboys are here to celebrate my birthday, and since I'm 111 I have every right to just disappear. And I will in a few seconds, because I have this magic ring that makes me go invisible. See?" He then vanished.

The guests gasped in unison.

Grandpa re-appeared. "So, here you go, Tyson. Take it to Mordor for me." He tossed the ring at Tyson and ran for it.

"Well then…" Ray said, breaking the stunned silence.

"So, now what?" asked Tyson. "Do I have to go on some journey all across Mordor and be almost killed multiple times?"

"Yep," Max said happily.

"Oh crap," Tyson muttered.

**Yeah, yeah, I know it wasn't all that funny, but hey. It will definitely get better. And if you were wondering, the Bladebreakers will be replacing the four hobbits, and everyone else (Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir and Aragorn) will stay the same. This will be fun! Legolas is so hot.**


	2. The Prancing Pony

**Thankee to all who reviewed! I hope you like this chappa.**

The morning after Grandpa's party the four young hobbits woke up bright and early.

"TYSON! GET UP!" Max was screaming.

"TYSON! IT'S NOON ALREADY!" Ray yelled.

Tyson rolled out of his door, still in his pajamas. "What?" he asked groggily.

"We're going to The Prancing Pony!" Max said excitedly. "ROAD TRIP!"

"But- I thought Grandpa said Mordor!" Tyson said stupidly.

"Who ever listens to Grandpa?" asked Ray. "Gandalf says The Prancing Pony, so The Prancing Pony it is."

"Okay," Tyson agreed. "Let's go." He rolled out the circular front door quite shamelessly.

Max, Ray and Kai buried their faces in their hands exasperatedly.

Once out of the Shire, the four friends began to get a little… insane, let's just say.

"Chickens eat porridge," Tyson exclaimed.

"I am sooooo totally hyper," Max informed the world.

"Maybe we shouldn't have drank all that liquid sugar," Kai murmured.

"I love you Kai," Ray screamed, hugging a very disturbed antelope.

"I love everyone," Max announced.

"I love Gandalfio," Tyson yelled.

"My head feels like there's a marching band playing inside it," Ray told the others.

"Maybe there is. I would name it 'Quag'," Max said.

"What the hell?" asked Kai. "Why 'Quag'?"

"Because there's a snail on my cap. I would get it but it's too far away," Tyson said very quickly.

Max was now running in circles screaming "THE EVIL VOLE STOLE MY PRINTER CARTRIDGE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" at the top of his lungs.

Tyson excitedly ran behind a ledge. "I think I left something downstairs. I'll just take the stairs… or maybe I'll take the elevator… why take the elevator when I have a perfectly good canoe?"

"CANOE!" Ray screamed, running rather painfully into a well-placed telephone booth.

"SNAP OUT OF IT, YOU MORONS!" Kai screamed.

They all stopped in their tracks and turned slowly towards him.

"Let's go to the Prancing Pony," he suggested awkwardly.

So then they pranced Northwards.

"Why are we prancing?" asked a completely oblivious Max.

"Because we're going to the Prancing Pony, you idiot," Kai informed him as he pranced onwards.

As they pranced, Ray started to feel a little nervous. Suddenly there was darkness, and Ray was holding a flashlight under his chin. "Ever feel like you're being watched…?" he asked dramatically.

The lights turned back on in response, and they all turned to see Dark Riders hot on their trail.

"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU N!" Tyson screamed.

Kai hit him over the head. "Way to give away out position."

Now there was no option but to run, so that is what they did. They ran for their lives. Then they ran some more. Finally they came to the Buckleberry Ferry.

"On to the Ferry! Quick!" Ray yelled.

The four hobbits jumped onto the ferry and untied the rope.

"Move, dammit, move!" Ray screamed at the ferry. It did not move.

"Paddle!" suggested Kai.

"Paddling is for squares," Tyson complained. "Let's blow."

So, being who they are, the others took Tyson's advice for some strange reason. Pretty soon they were almost 3 centimeters away from shore (That's like an inch, if you didn't know. Sorry, I speak Canadian) and blowing frantically on the water.

In a couple of days, they had made it across the lake and the riders were nowhere to be found.

"The prancing Pony's got to be somewhere around here," Kai said thoughtfully, walking into a sign that said "The Prancing Pony".

"It's right there, genius," Ray said, walking through the door.

The little pub was, in short, very scary. There were drunk men who were being served drink after drink, and a very scary brown-haired dude who was wearing a name tag that said "Hello. My name is Strider."

The four hobbits, not interested in getting drunk at 6:00 in the morning, marched up to Strider.

"Hello, Strider!" Max said cheerfully.

"Why do people keep calling me Strider!" the man wailed. "My name is Aragorn!"

"Got it, Strider," Ray said happily.

Aragorn rolled his eyes. "Gandalf told me you were idiots. You're supposed to meet him here, aren't you? But he couldn't make it, he had to subdue a raging buffalo."

The four hobbits nodded solemnly.

"So he tried to send this old dude named Sauromon, but he didn't want to miss the buffalo action so I had to fetch you. I'm taking you to the Council of Elrond to discuss what to do with that Ring."

"But Grandpa said to bring it to Mordor! Anyway, it's just a ring, what's so special about it, anyway?"

"It's a magical ring," Aragorn said in a mystic voice. "It used to belong to the dark lord Sauron, but then my idiot for a father chopped off his finger and took the ring to Mordor, where he was about to destroy it. But then he suddenly got all "The ring is mine… My precious…" and then he took the ring with him. Elrond should have pushed him into the volcano when he had the chance, but no. So then Gollum somehow got his hands on the ring, and then Grandpa stole it. Then it was passed down to you."

"Wow…" Max said in awe. "Look at that really tall guy over there!"

"Er…" Aragorn raised his eyebrows. "Anyway, we leave tomorrow."

"Why not today? It's 6:00 a.m.!"

"Fine, be that way," Aragorn shouted, stomping out of the bar.

"Alright!" Max yelled, running after him.

**Hm. Max is very strange. Anyway, review! It will get funnier! Hopefully.**


	3. Of Greasy Swordsmen and Dark Riders

**A/N: Hey, it's ATA! :) Haven't updated this story in a couple decades, but I had a chapter ready to go, so I figured... why not? And uh, I'll get on that LOMG update soon. Promise.**

"Can we have breakfast NOW?" Tyson whined loudly as he tripped over brambles.

"We just finished breakfast," Kai replied sullenly, licking maple syrup off of his fingers.

"You ate all of the sausages," Ray added miserably.

"Shut up, you three!" Strider roared as he patted Max fondly on the head. His filthy gloves left a visible mark on Max's hair but the blonde was far too nervous to care. He wasn't nervous because of Strider's intimidating presence, nor was it because of the Ringwraiths poking around trees and yelling "I SEE YOU!" No, it was because Strider seemed to have taken a liking to him, and he had always been told to avoid strange men who kept offering him candy.

Anyway, as the author rambled Strider had tossed an avocado at Tyson, hitting him on the head and falling to the ground with a thud. Tyson sighed and picked it up. He spent the rest of their two hour walk trying to find a way to eat it.

"Guys," Ray piped up. "I could have sworn I just saw a –"

"GHOST?" Tyson shrieked, dropping his avocado.

"Um, no, I was going to say a Ringwraith," Ray sighed. "Ty, you totally just ruined my dramatic moment."

"Yeah, way to go, Tyson," Strider shouted, poking Tyson with a stick.

"Shut up, Strider, no one asked you."

"Do NOT call me Strider!" Strider screamed. "For the last time, it's ARAGORN! AIR – AH – GORN! Like my dad's name only with a 'g' instead of a 'th'! COME ON!"

"Hey, uh, Strider, you're attracting Ringwraiths," Kai said, gesturing to the tall cloaked things hovering around behind them, looking confused.

"Can we attack them?" one whispered to another.

"I don't know, Larry," the wraith replied in a raspy voice. "It seems too easy."

"Hey, guys, workin' hard or hardly workin'?" a third shouted, laughing.

"Shut _up_, Gary! We're on a mission here!"

Strider watched this exchange in horror. Then he drew his sword and pushed Max behind him. "Hey! Hey you! You'd better be planning on leaving!"

"Yeah, it's almost our lunch break," Larry shrugged. "We'll be back later, though, don't you worry."

"We'll be ready," Kai said dramatically.

The wraiths sauntered away as Max shook in terror, trying hysterically to get the grease stains out of his T-shirt with Tide to Go.

When it was around lunch time, Tyson sat on the ground and whipped tomatoes, sausages and bacon out from under his cap. "Light me, Kai."

Kai sighed as he lit the odd assembly of leaves, twigs, discarded gloves and McDonald's packaging on fire with a match. Ray and Tyson began to cook as Kai pulled Max aside.

"Hey, Max, have you noticed that Tyson's acting a little weird lately?"

"Um, no." Max looked nervously at Strider, who waved cheerfully. "But I guess I've been distracted."

Kai glanced at Tyson dramatically as shadows fell over him. "It's the ring. It's weighing him down."

"If you say so, buddy."

"Someone should take it from him."

"I thought he had to bring it to Mordor."

Kai swatted Max across the head. "That's too easy!"

"That's easy?" Max asked, astounded.

"Guys, the tomatoes, sausages and bacon are ready," Tyson called in an alluring voice. Max stumbled over happily and Kai followed, eyeing the ring which Tyson had placed carefully on his cap.

Strider carefully took a sausage from the heap of food hygienically placed on the ground. As he nibbled on it he looked around the clearing.

"Hey, guys, did you hear about casual Friday tomorrow?" came a shout from behind some bushes.

"Gary, SHUT UP!"

"Why are you so mean to me, Terry?" Gary said dramatically. "Sauron told you that you had to be nice to me!"

"He's promoting me," Larry added smugly.

"To what?" the others gasped in unison.

"Secretary," Larry said in a girlish giggle. The others began sighing and swooning.

"I am like, SO totally jealous!" shrieked one rider. "What did you do to deserve that?"

The others giggled as Larry sighed and played with the hem of his cloak. "Oh, you know… we had dinner, there were candles…"

"OH MY GOD!" roared Strider. "THERE ARE DARK RIDERS IN THE FOREST!"

The four hobbits jumped up in shock. Tyson stuffed the remaining tomatoes, sausages and bacon under his cap and they ran for it, leaving the sound of giggling riders behind.

"Ha, rider rhymes with Strider," Tyson pointed out, guffawing. "That's funny. I bet you're a rider, Strider. EEEK!"

For he had just been grabbed by the ankle and dragged into the depths of the forest.

Actually, he was just around a couple of thin trees, but his friends' reactions would have been the same either way. "Tyson, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO!" shrieked Kai.

Everyone took a moment to stare at Kai before turning back to Tyson. He was gone.

Tyson was in a world where everything was windy. He held his cap on with one hand, the other feeling in front of him, trying to figure out which way to go. It hit something solid, and he looked up into the face of a masked Ringwraith.

"Hey, uh, Larry, he's right here."

"Thanks, Sherry. Get him."

"Why can't we just take the ring off?" Sherry was holding Tyson's wrist now, looking at the plastic bright pink ring on his finger. "Isn't that what Sauron wants?"

"No, he specifically told us to capture the hobbit," Larry explained patiently.

"Um, okay." When Sherry looked back at Tyson, he was gone.


End file.
